Kyle and I had been dating for about 4 or 5 months at this
time and we were as serious as you can be in a relationship. We had both
verbally expressed our love for each other and had started making our future
plans together. We were both on cloud nine and it was the best moments of our
lives. To this very day I can still recall every minute we spent together and I
often dream of those moments.
It was like any other day in our small town I was getting
off of work and hoping for a romantic evening with my man. When I was able to
get up with him he told me a close buddy of his was in town for just a short
time on leave from the National Guard and he really wanted to hang out with
him. My first emotion was he was completely blowing off our date that I thought
we had planned. I was beyond furious at
this point because I knew that if he were going out with old buddies then
drinking would be involved and I was done with drinking and thought he was too.
He begged me to show up at the town bar to meet up with him and I stubbornly
refused. After about an hour of letting him “get the picture” of my anger I
decided that I would finally head on over to meet him and hopefully pick him up
and steal him away from his “buddies.” As I texted him to tell him I was
literally 2 minutes from the bar he replied immediately saying he had already
left and was at the McDonalds right down the street. I then proceeded to make
my way over there and as I was pulling into the parking lot I texted him again
telling him I was there. He immediately replied that he was gone again and on
the other side of town. My blood was boiling at this point because I knew he
was avoiding me now. I knew he was so wasted he didn't dare want to show me. I
went to a house my younger sister was at to defuse. I texted and called him
over and over receiving no answer. I was not only angry I was feeling ill at
this point because that feeling I had always been scared of was turning in my
stomach. I could literally feel something terrible about to happen and I began
getting so anxious that I could not get ahold of him. Finally hours later a
number I didn't recognize called me and Kyle was on the other end. He was so
drunk I could barely understand him but he said his phone had died and he was
so in love with me. All he kept saying was “I Love you baby.” I told him I
loved him too but was also trying to find out where he was and who he was with.
The phone cut off in the middle of our conversation and my heart sank. As I
drove home all I could do was pray and cry. I knew something wasn't right and I
could feel it in my gut but I didn't know where he was. In the smallest town I
had ever lived in and the man I loved felt like he was miles away. After
ringing all the phone numbers I knew to call over and over with no answer I
knew I couldn't do anything in my power. As I lay in bed that night all I could
do was wonder what he was doing. Was he home? Was he safe? I had no idea. I
said a prayer and fell asleep.
I woke up and began March 6th 2010 like any other day. I showered and
was in the middle of getting ready for work when my cell rang at about 8 am. I
ran as quick as I could to it thinking it was Kyle returning all my missed
calls. The number was his Mom’s house phone and I knew it had to be him. I
answered with a bitter hello and expected a deep apology but to my surprise it wasn't him. It was his step dad asking if I had been with Kyle at all the night
before. Smugly I answered that I hadn't He said, “Well honey he was in a car
accident last night and they've had to airlift him to the hospital in
Asheville.” Now I can’t really describe this moment all too well but it was as if
my blood was draining from my body and I was completely frozen. I kept trying
to replay the words I was hearing. This can’t be! No, he went out drinking and
I’m furious about it but he’s waking up on someone’s couch with a hangover. He isn't an hour and a half away! I was so confused and it took me quite a few
moments before those words sunk in. A flood of tears began to pour down my face
and I think the only words I said to his step dad were “I’ll be there soon.” I
hung up the phone and fell to my knees. I knew right then and there that gut
feeling I always had for Kyle was this moment. God was trying to prepare me for
this very moment. The moment I thought I could have saved him. The moment my
heart felt like it was being stabbed repeatedly. The moment the man I wanted to
spend the rest of my life with was airlifted to the NICU unit at Mission
Memorial Hospital. My mother fled to my side and I could barely get out the
words that he had been in a wreck I just remember saying, “You have to take me!”
We piled in the car and she drove me all the way to Mission
Hospital. The hour long trip was almost unbearable. No one in his family had
arrived yet and I had no other information other than he was there. I kept
thinking maybe it’s not that bad. Maybe our hospital was just too full. My
stomach was in knots because I knew deep down if he had been airlifted to NICU
it was not good. We finally arrived at the hospital and I barreled through the
hallways not even looking to see if my mother was right behind me. I finally
showed up to the entrance of NICU and I saw his family. They told me that they
advised the hospital staff that I was his fiance so I could easily be by his
side. As we all stood there in the hall awaiting the doors to the NICU to open
I became so weak and felt as if I couldn't even go in to see him. I was so
scared of what he was going to look like. Would he be up and talking? Would he
be cracking jokes as usual? Would I recognize him? Was he almost dead? Did he
still have all his legs or arms? I had no clue what scene I was about to
approach and the unknowingness was welling up inside me. As I finally made my
way into the hall I could see his room which everyone was now inside of except
for my mother and me. I felt almost frozen in my path but made myself walk to
his doorway.
As I approached the room my eyes frantically searched for
him. I saw people hovered around a hospital bed and 6 to 10 different machines
all somewhat blocking my view from the man that lay there. His sister saw me
first and then as his mother moved to escort me in I saw him. It was as if
every emotion I had ever held inside came up out of me. I backed out of the
room and fell onto the floor and sobbed uncontrollably. The strongest, tallest
and biggest man I had ever met was lifeless on a hospital bed. As I sobbed I
could hear his voice telling his sister to not let me see him. She said to him
that I needed to be here. As my mother and his mother calmed me I slowly made
my way into the room and was able to see every bit of him. His body lay very
still with scratches and dried blood covering bits and parts of him. His neck
was stabilized in a neck brace and his whole face was covered in dried blood as
well. He had a 3 inch gash on his right bicep that was being held together by
two big staples and the back of his head had been scraped almost clean of hair
and was bleeding onto a blood soaked chuck pad. It literally resembled ground
hamburger meat. His eyes met mine and I
bent down and the only thing I could utter was, “why did you do this?” He opened
his mouth and before I heard his words the stench of pure alcohol hit me like a
Mack truck and I knew he had been so drunk when this accident had happened. He
apologized to me and told me he loved me. I said, “You better not ever touch alcohol
again!” He promised that he would never touch another drink again in his life.
He said “Today is the last day I drink.” I felt so relieved yet so angry
because I knew it was already too late.
His doctor made her way into his room and said she would
like to speak with us in another room. I kissed his face and followed his
family into a small room with no windows and nothing but a few chairs. I knew
as we all sat down and stared at each other we were about to hear the “full
report.” The doctor began to tell us how Kyle’s blood alcohol level was extremely
high and he had been drinking and driving. This first caught me off guard
because I truly thought Kyle was making extremely good progress in his life
especially when it came to making smart decisions. I was so angry thinking
about how he could have done this that I almost missed hearing her say the real
gut buster, “Kyle has broken his neck at the C-5 and 6 vertebrae this caused
pinching and bruising to his spinal cord up until he arrived here at Mission.
We have set his neck back into place and are holding it with that neck brace.
He will need surgery to stabilize his neck but unfortunately he will be a quadriplegic.
I’m sorry but Kyle will never have mobility in his arms or legs. He is
paralyzed from his neck down and will never walk again.”
What?! Where do we go from here? I felt so lost and as if all my
dreams had been ripped from me in an instant. At that very moment I wanted so bad to get lost in anger and hatred towards Kyle, God, and everything in my path. How could everything I had ever wanted be stolen from me in one drunken mistake? I remember running into my parents arms and trying to explain what the doctor had just told us. I kept saying, "He won't walk ever again!" I could feel the attack of the enemy each time I said it as if he knew the more I repeated it the more deceit he was pouring into my head. My father who has always been such a strong foundation of Faith in my life stopped those thoughts immediately. He said, "Listen honey you don't listen to what those doctors are saying because we serve the one who holds EVERYTHING in his hands. You speak life to that body and God can and WILL work miracles in your situation!" I pulled myself together and begin walking in strength and faith that my God would turn this whole tragedy into our purpose.
"And we know that ALL things work together for the good to those who love God, and to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
So I hung to this scripture knowing that if I walked this out in faith He could use even something like this that was sent to not only kill my hopes, dreams and future but the very man I loved. Every day I walked into that ICU room a prayed over every inch of his body. I prayed that God would not only heal him but allow this situation to be used for his glory.
Kyle had neck surgery where they placed metal screws to hold the vertebrae he broke in place. He unfortunately contracted pneumonia after this surgery and was placed under heavy sedation for the next 5 to 6 days. I stayed at that hospital everyday just so I could see him twice a day for no longer than 15 minutes. I remember having to choke back tears everyday I entered his room because of the way he looked. He had a breathing tube down his throat, feeding tube in his nose, and the only life in his body was from the rise and fall of his chest as the machine forced him to breathe. His eyes had tape over them and his cheeks were stained with dried tears as if he had been crying. All I could do was gently rub his chest because I knew he could still "feel" there. One of his nurses told me that he knew I was there because every time I entered the room and caressed him his heart and breathing levels would jump. It was hearing simple things like this that kept me going each day.
They were finally able to bring him out of his drug induced coma and after explaining the situation over and over he began to slowly grasp the reality of what had happened. He continued to think that he was only tied down to the bed and just needed some help to get to his feet but through tears I had to explain that unfortunately he couldn't get up and was paralyzed. Not only had I already come to grips on what had happened I was now having to relive the devastation once again with him. I remember a very incredible moment I had with Kyle in that hospital room though. I was standing by his bed and he was looking over my shoulder at the window and began asking, "Who are all these people here?" At first I felt a little uneasy because I knew it was just him and me in the room. I calmly said, "Honey it's just me." He looked confused and said, "No there are all these people here just staring at me and why is he just smiling?" He proceeded to explain that there was a group of people just watching him and one man was smiling from ear to ear at him. Now I know he was a little loopy from drugs but I instantly felt the presence of God in that room and I believe He was there watching over Kyle and I. He was no doubt cradling the both of us through some of the hardest weeks in our lives.
After a couple of weeks I had to go back to work or else I was told I was going to lose my job. So I would drive an hour and a half to work and then an hour and a half back to Asheville NC everyday for the next two months straight. I couldn't bare to be away from him any longer than I had to. I loved this man regardless of his poor decisions or lack of mobility at this point. I was told on multiple occasions by doctors no less that I should just go and move on with my life. I couldn't believe the lack of real unconditional love in this world. I knew that if I had fallen in love with a man and made the commitment in my heart to one day exchange vows that stated, For better or for worse and in sickness and in health then how can I selfishly walk away now? It was out of the question.
Three years later I am still his full time caregiver. I catheterize him every 6 hours. I lift him in and out of bed, showers, and even my small Mitsubishi Galant. I dress him, bathe him, do his laundry, feed him, take care of him when he's sick, and love him with every fiber of my being. I fell in love with Kyle three years ago. I didn't fall in love with his muscles, height, or even future military career. It was the person that sealed the deal. I also believe with continuing in his physical therapy the skies the limit for him and I'll be right by his side until he achieves his ultimate goals. We may not have all the necessary equipment, accessible vehicles, or money a couple in this situation would need but we are rich in so many other aspects. We have a love that most people will never find. It is a love built on honesty, trust, patience, and most importantly our love for God and knowing that our story will touch many lives. The truth of the matter is as long as one life can be saved by hearing our tragedy then our daily struggles I'll keep.
Please keep praying for us and how God is using our life story as we continue to speak to churches and schools around North Carolina. God Bless.
Naomi Collett
-The accident ripped my life apart. It wasn't until it was to late that I realized, my life of alcohol abuse and poor decisions led me to a wheel chair and I didn't see it coming. I thought I was 10' Tall and Bulletproof but now I'm 6'4 and Paralyzed. Now I know, I know that it don't matter who you are or what you've done, one mistake can be life altering forever.
-Kyle Morgan
